A joke a day…
…keeps the doctor away.
OK, it doesn’t but at least makes everyone happy. On this page you will find art jokes (mostly copied ones or maybe, in time, original ones); the best of em 
17.05.2012 – “it’s been a long time…” (GladOS)
More Irish Jokes
1) Return Ticket
Paddy was a country boy, he had never been to Dublin. One day he decided to walk into Wexford and catch the bus to Dublin. Duly the bus arrived and Paddy asked the conductor for a return ticket. ‘A return to where?’ asked the conductor’. ‘Why back here of course’ said Paddy.
2) How many Ducks?
On the bus Paddy got chatting to Murphy who was carrying a bag on his back
“What’s in the bag?” asked Paddy
“I ‘m not going to tell,” replied Murphy
“Go on, do.” pleaded Paddy .
“Ah, all right then, it’s ducks.” announced Murphy
“If I guess how many ducks you have in the bag, will you give me one of them?” enquired Paddy
“Look,” said Murphy, “If you guess the correct number, I’ll give you both of them.”.
“Five!” said Paddy triumphantly
3) Englishman, Frenchman and Irishman
An Englishman, a Frenchman and an Irishman were in a pub talking about their children.
“My son was born on St George’s Day,” remarked the Englishman, “So we obviously decided to call him George.”
“That’s a real coincidence,” observed the Frenchman, “My daughter was born on Valentine’s Day, so we decided to call her Valentine.”
“That’s really incredible,” drawled the Irishman, “Exactly the same thing happened with my son Pancake.”
__________
14.01.2012 {
In foreign Hotels:
* In the Bedroom:
1) Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing please not to read notice.
2) Please to bathe inside the tub.
3) Please leave your values at the front desk.
4) You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
5) Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.
* In a the bar:
1) Special cocktails: For the ladies with nuts.
2) Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
3) Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
4) Special today — no ice cream.
* In the Hotel Shop
1) For your convenience, we recommend courteous, efficient self-service.
2) If this is your first visit to Tokyo, you are welcome to it.
3) Order your summer suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.
4) Specialist in women and other diseases
5) Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.
}
07.01.2012 – It hurts falling from heaven
06.01.2012 – Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.
She told him “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!”
The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Bob has been missing since Friday.
0 to 200 in 6 seconds
04.01.2012 – Modern artist: Someone who paints on a canvas, wipes it off with a cloth, and sells the cloth.
The cloth
